Yesterday morning, a person said something to me that made me so angry, so upset.
I was livid. Seething. Pissed off. Grievous. My buttons were pushed.
I wanted to take him out, and I don’t mean, join him in peace and go Home; I mean I had fantasies of kicking his ass.
For a moment, years of mind training went out the window.
And the day went on. I played it over in my mind. I focused on my breathing. I asked for help.
This morning, I woke up and with great gratitude read the perfect Lesson in A Course in Miracles for my recovery from my insanity, Lesson 78, Let miracles replace all grievances.
Perhaps it is not yet quite clear to you that each decision that you make is one between a grievance and a miracle. Each grievance stands like a dark shield of hate before the miracle it would conceal. And as you raise it up before your eyes, you will not see the miracle beyond. Yet all the while it waits for you in light, but you behold your grievances instead. W-p1.78.1
I began to breathe easier.
We will select one person you have used as target for your grievances, and lay the grievances aside and look at him. 4:4
You know the one to choose; his name has crossed your mind already. 5:1
That was easy.
And then, earnestly, I said to myself:
Let me behold my savior in this one You have appointed as the one for me to ask to lead me to the holy light in which he stands, that I may join with him. 7:3
Ah, yes, it is working, a dark cloud of bitterness is passing away.
The Holy Spirit leans from him to you, seeing no separation in God's Son. And what you see through Him will free you both. Be very quiet now, and look upon your shining savior. No dark grievances obscure the sight of him. 8:4-7
And it becomes increasingly clear to me that in every moment, I decide to be aware of either my conflicts or my peace. It is always my choice. Why would I allow “this” to replace the peace of God. “This” is of my own making, and I can choose to let it go.
Duh. Why would I ever choose not to be peaceful?
Now, I realize that not only does the Holy Spirit answer our prayers with just the right thought at just the right time, the Holy Spirit also sets up apparently “negative” situations that can provide an opportunity for forgiveness and growth.
You have allowed the Holy Spirit to express through him the role God gave Him that you might be saved. 8:8
This is how I experience this quotation from the Lesson:
As I earnestly asked for help and did the Lesson, I allowed the Holy Spirit to give “him” the perfect role, just as the Holy Spirit fulfilled the role given Him by God, so that I might be saved from my thoughts that have no source in Reality, and experience the peace of God.
This afternoon, I saw “him” at a distance, and I was amazed that I felt no twinge of a grievance. It was over. He is, indeed, my savior.