Presuming God and Being Glad!

In John 16, Jesus says,

Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; at that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. 19,20

There is no doubt, of course, that He is in complete alignment, His mind is linked to God and to your Christ mind.

Now, two thousand years later in His Course in Miracles, Jesus has us practice being aware of this alignment by doing the Lessons, and here is an example, Lesson 237, Now would I be as God created me.

Christ is my eyes today, and He the ears
that listen to the Voice for God today.
Father, I come to You through Him Who is
Your Son, and my true Self as well. Amen.

In Matthew 5, Jesus says,

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. 48

Being perfect has nothing to do with right or wrong, but simply being aware of your Oneness with God, your alignment, extending the love that you are; your perfection is guaranteed by God, and by receiving it, you can give it away, for giving is receiving.

In His Course, Jesus gives us this Lesson, today’s Lesson 225, in fact, God is my Father, and His Son loves Him.

Father, I must return Your Love for me,
for giving and receiving are the same,
and You have given all Your Love to me.
I must return it, for I want it mine
in full awareness, blazing in my mind
and keeping it within its kindly light,
inviolate, beloved, with fear behind
and only peace ahead. How still the way
Your loving Son is led along to You!

In this passage, the reader is also given an opportunity to practice alignment; we need the practice because we are usually, habitually, naturally, normally, out of alignment.

Father, I must return your Love for me.

Must is used, not because it is an obligation, not because I will be punished if I don’t, but I must, I want, to return God’s love for me in order to be in the experience I have always avoided, experiencing the love and peace of God. It is a practice because it is an unnatural experience, although, in reality, this aligning connection is the only natural experience there is. Alignment is experiencing the peace of God, now, completely abstracted from what I seem to be looking at, specifically, in time and space.

Complete abstraction is the natural condition of the mind. W-p1.161.2:1

However, we continue to experience things unnaturally because we separated from the aligning consciousness, and formed a separate “I.” We grew up making a little “I” separate from the part of us aligned with God. That this resulted in a false world of our own making is a well-kept secret. The little, limited “I,” the ego, is a disguised form of “I” aligned with God.

To this point, two referents for “I” have been defined: the “I” aligned with the Self, seeing with the eyes of Christ, and the “I” allied with the ego, seeing with the body’s eyes, separated from God.

Throughout His Course, Jesus addresses the third “I,” the mechanism of decision; this is the part of the mind that decides between separation and union. Jesus know full well that this decision is ours to make because we are free to choose.

Separation is overcome by union. It cannot be overcome by separating. The decision to unite must be unequivocal, or the mind itself is divided and not whole. Your mind is the means by which you determine your own condition, because mind is the mechanism of decision. It is the power by which you separate or join, and experience pain or joy accordingly. T-8.IV.5

In summary, while reading His Course, I want to be vigilant to the three possible referents for “I.”

THE MECHANISM OF DECISION

THE BODY'S EYES

THE EYES OF CHRIST

When the “I” as the mechanism of decision, decides to see through the body’s eyes, it allies with the ego; when this “I” decides to see through the eyes of Christ, it unites with God.

These are states of mind, of course, and I like a term a friend of mine used the other day for the mechanism of decision, “the transition state.” When we are in the state of mind of deciding, we are in transition from one state to another, either moving from fear to love, or from love to fear; it is our decision, moment to moment.

“Decision” comes from the Latin, decidere, meaning to “cut off.” When “I” decide to ally with the body’s eyes, awareness of union with the true Self is automatically cut off; when “I” decide to unite with the true Self, awareness of alliance with the false self is automatically cut off. It is always either/or, no compromise. By uniting with the Self, “I” will to align with God’s Will.

Nothing God created can oppose your decision, as nothing God created can oppose His Will. God gave your will its power, which I can only acknowledge in honour of His. If you want to be like me I will help you, knowing that we are alike. If you want to be different, I will wait until you change your mind. I can teach you, but only you can choose to listen to my teaching. T-8.IV.6:1-5

One way I have learned to listen to His teaching is to pay close attention to each pronoun and its reference in His Course. And I find His Review of the first 50 lessons to be very helpful in this respect. For example, in the title to Lesson 1, Nothing I see means anything, the referent for “I” certainly is not the “I” united with the true Self. It is a reference to the false “I,” the ego seeing through the body’s eyes, and what they see in time and space is not real.

In Lesson 13, the referent for “I” is an example of a part of the mind that decides, that chooses, the mechanism of decision.

But such a world is not real. I have given it the illusion of reality, and have suffered from my belief in it. Now I choose to withdraw this belief, and place my trust in reality. In choosing this, I will escape all the effects of the world of fear, because I am acknowledging that it does not exist. 13

The reference for “I” in the following passage from Lesson 36 is the “I” joined with the Christ within, seeing with His vision.

Seen through understanding eyes, the holiness of the world is all I see, for I can picture only the thoughts I hold about myself. 36

And here are the three referents for "I" are expressed in this particular paragraph in the Text.

The Christ in you is very still. He looks on what He loves, and knows it as Himself. And thus does He rejoice at what He sees, because He knows that it is one with Him and with His Father. (the eyes of Christ) Specialness, too, takes joy in what it sees, although it is not true. (the body's eyes) Yet what you seek for is a source of joy as you conceive it. What you wish is true for you. Nor is it possible that you can wish for something and lack faith that it is so. Wishing makes real, as surely as does will create. (the mechanism of decision) The power of a wish upholds illusions (the body's eyes) as strongly as does love extend itself. (the eyes of Christ) Except that one deludes; (body's eyes) the other heals. (the eyes of Christ) T-24.V.1

I offer the following as an opportunity to practice becoming aware of the three referents to “I” in the Review of the first 50 Lessons, remembering Jesus saying, I can teach you, but only you can choose to listen to my teaching.

I went through the lessons and grouped sentences into the following three categories:

THE BODY’S EYES

Nothing I See Means Anything. The reason this is so is that I see nothing, and nothing has no meaning. 1 (The number after each sentence, below, simply refers to the Lesson in the Review in which it occurs.)

I have judged everything I look upon, and it is this and only this I see. 2

What I see is the projection of my own errors of thought. 3

If I see nothing as it is now, it can truly be said that I see nothing. 9

Since the thoughts of which I am aware do not mean anything, the world that pictures them can have no meaning. 11


THE MECHANISM OF DECISION

I am willing to recognize the lack of validity in my judgments, because I want to see. 2

I choose to have my meaningless thoughts be replaced by what they were intended to replace. 4

When I have forgiven myself and remembered Who I am, I will bless everyone and everything I see. 7

Now I would choose again, that I may see. 9

Would I not rather join the thinking of the universe than to obscure all that is really mine with my pitiful and meaningless “private” thoughts? 10

I can therefore see a real world, if I look to my real thoughts as my guide for seeing. 11

I am grateful that this world is not real, and that I need not see it at all unless I choose to value it. 12

Now I choose to withdraw this belief in the illusion of reality, and place my trust in reality. 13

Why should I continue to suffer from the effects of my own insane thoughts, when the perfection of creation is my home? Let me remember the power of my decision, and recognize where I really abide. 14

It is illusions I choose when I try to see through the body’s eyes. Yet the vision of Christ has been given me to replace them. It is through this vision that I choose to see. 43


THE EYES OF CHRIST

I can see only what is now. 9

But God has kept my inheritance safe for me. My own real thoughts will teach me what it is. 26

From my holiness does the perception of the real world come. 36

Seen through understanding eyes, the holiness of the world is all I see, for I can picture only the thoughts I hold about myself. 36

As I recognize my holiness, so does the holiness of the world shine forth for everyone to see. 37

I am blessed as a Son of God. 40

My Father supports me, protects me, and directs me in all things. His care for me is infinite, and is with me forever. 40

I am perfect because God goes with me wherever I go. 41

I am walking steadily on toward truth. There is nowhere else I can go, because God’s Voice is the only voice and the only guide that has been given to His Son. 49

And now we come to the title of this essay, Presume God and Be Glad! “Presume” comes from the Latin, praesumere, meaning “to take beforehand, to take for granted.” When I ask for help to be in alignment with God, then whatever occurs in time and space can be looked through, or as Jesus often says in the Course, overlooked, in effect, cut out, and the result is gladdening.

This morning I had this experience, and as I come to the end of writing this, I will express it this way.

I was sitting there, saying to myself, there is only this moment, and right now I am experiencing the peace of God.

(This expresses “I” uniting with my true Self.)

And then I experienced a situation with a brother that triggered negative thoughts.

(With incredible rapidity, “I” cut away from union to separation, allying with my false self, seeing through the body's eyes)

And then “I” (the mechanism of decision) stood still for a moment, and said to myself, “These thoughts are based on my conditioning, imprinting, and “I” (the mechanism of decision) am asking for help to let them go.”

(Soon, “I” was experiencing the peace of God, alignment, seeing with the eyes of Christ.)

And then I read again, listening to Jesus teaching me, the first sentence of today’s Lesson, 235, God in His mercy wills that I be saved.

I need but look upon all things that seem
to hurt me, and with perfect certainty
assure myself, "God wills that I be saved
from this," and merely watch them disappear.

* * *

Yesterday, I was caught in the act of presuming God and being extremely glad. Beth, our little neighbor, seven-years old, lovely and loving, was sitting on our deck with Christine and me on a beautiful late-summer afternoon, eating cookies and drinking juice, chattering away in her child’s innocence about her sisters and her cat, Jingles, and her new teacher and television programs and her Dad taking her for ice cream, and then she looks at me and says, “You’re doing it again.”

I said, “Doing what?”

She said, “That look in your eyes.”

I said, “What look?”

Then she stood up in right in front of me, her hands on her hips, and looking directly into my eyes, she said, “This one,” slightly staring and widening her eyes,” mirroring for me my expression of an easy, peaceful feeling, and I experienced that giving is receiving.

I realized that while she was talking, I would occasionally look up, gazing at the leaves in the high branches canopying our yard, watching the play of light and shadows of the leaves moving in the soft breeze, feeling the peace of God, seeing the reflection of the eyes of Christ, presuming God. Her gift to me was the recognition that what I was experiencing was being communicated through me to all that I looked upon, and I was exceedingly glad!

Being With Mighty Companions is a Tricky Endeavor

In His Course in Miracles, Jesus notes that as we walk the earth, we go with mighty companions beside us. (M-4.1.A.6:11) And this phrase is just right because we are joined with our brothers on this incredible mission of waking from the dream and coming into the experience of being in the world and not of the world.

Waking up from the dream means knowing there is no world and that we are as God created us, realizing that we habitually make up a world with our body’s eyes and brain and stubbornly persist in thinking that seeing is believing. Just yesterday, I came across a children’s book that explains how easily we are duped into believing that what our eyes see is the truth, describing how the eye sees.

Your eyes work by taking pictures of the world and sending them to your brain. Light from an object passes through the lens in the middle of your eye. The lens focuses the light onto the retina at the back of the eye. The retina changes light patterns into signals that it sends to the brain. The brain changes the signals into a picture to tell you what your eyes are seeing.
(Louise Spilsbury, Knowledge: How? Why? Where? When? London: Tall Tree Limited, 2007, p. 106.)

Such simplicity. The brain, an organ that has no source in reality, is constantly telling you what your eyes are seeing. Hmmm. Nothing I see means anything. (Lesson 1)

Here is one way that Jesus expresses it in His Course.

The brain interprets to the body, of which it is a part. But what it says you cannot understand. Yet you have listened to it. And long and hard you tried to understand its messages. T-22.I.2:9-12

Through the Course, we come to learn that physical sight is not so because, in truth, we can see only with vision, seeing through the eyes of Christ, experiencing the reflection of our True Identity as the holy Son of God.

Only your vision can convey to you what you can see. It reaches you directly, without a need to be interpreted to you. What needs interpretation must be alien. T-22.I.6:4-6

This is where our mighty companions come in. We join in this vision; we look at each other and say with our eyes, “Namaste,” the Christ in me greets the Christ in you, experiencing a warm-honey feeling in our stomachs.

And our mighty companions fulfill another function, just as important. My brother does or says something that totally upsets me. This can be seen as a great opportunity, if I use it right. If I can realize quickly enough that s/he is triggering an emotion based on my particular imprinting, I can utilize it. If I can see this behavior as a message triggering my experiences at an early age, then I can dismiss my brother as the messenger, and learn more about myself, looking at the message, feeling the emotion, and asking for help to let it go, coming into the realization that there is nothing outside of myself that can cause me pain or pleasure. It's always only my thoughts.

Here is an example, perhaps crude but real. When I was seven or eight years old, my dad took me to a shop, where a man, Bob Harsh, made bows and arrows. I was so excited to walk out of his shop with a custom-made bow and six arrows. My dad set up for me in our backyard a bail of straw with a paper target, and every day I spent hours learning to shoot my bow.

I would often lose arrows in the deep grass in the backyard, and one day, my neighbor, my “buddy,” Dick, said, smiling, “Here’s an arrow I found,” and I happily grabbed it by the end, only to find that he had smeared it in dog shit that was encrusting my palm, as he laughed heartily.

I felt humiliation and anger and scorn. To this day, I don’t like tricks to be played on me, and I tend not to play tricks on other people.

Some time ago, my wife, Christine, truly my mighty companion, pulled an elaborate trick on me. On my birthday the idea was to go out for dinner and then go to a play. After dinner, she looked into her purse and said, “I forgot the tickets.” We hurried home, went inside, and walking down the hallway, we heard a sound from the basement, glass breaking. My adrenaline hit, and I slowly walked down the stairs, assuming a karate posture, right hand in a fist, drawn back, left hand in front of my stomach to ward off an attack, my knees bent.

When I was half-way down the stairs, a group of family and friends who had assembled while we were at dinner yelled, “Happy Birthday!” And I yelled, “Fuck you!” The ancient imprinting of being tricked was triggered, and I felt humiliation and anger and scorn, especially since I was walking down the stairs as if I were a Kung Fu fighter.

This is just one example of a myriad of things that I must have experienced early on that imprinted deeply in my mind and trigger emotions in me today. I continued, unconsciously, to allow external events to trigger emotions, not realizing that I was the cause, preventing me from experiencing peace of mind. The key is to learn to take full responsibility for my reactions, and dismiss the messengers as quickly as possible, my mighty companions.

And so in each moment, I am seeing my brother, either through the body’s eyes, as the brain interprets based on the past, or through the vision of Christ; I crucify myself, or I resurrect; I ma miserable, or at peace; it is always my choice. I am totally responsible; I am not a victim of the world I see. (Lesson 31)

This is the only thing that you need do for vision, happiness, release from pain and the complete escape from sin, all to be given you. Say only this, but mean it with no reservations, for here the power of salvation lies:

I am responsible for what I see.
I choose the feelings I experience,
and I decide upon the goal I would achieve.
And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for,
and receive as I have asked.

Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken, and all effects of your mistakes will disappear. T-21.II.2

To make a mistake means, literally, "to take an error as true," and error comes from the Latin, errorem, meaning “to wander, go astray.” I am totally responsible for wandering from vision to physical sight based on past shit, and I can always ask for help to get back on the mark.

And this brings me back to my bow and arrow. On the mark is an archery term that comes from Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke. When an archer fired at a target and missed the bull's eye, the scorekeeper yelled "khata," sin, meaning that the archer was off the mark. He is simply giving him information, giving him helpful feedback.

When the scorekeeper pulled out the arrow, he yelled "bisha," evil, simply indicating exactly where the arrow landed in reference to the bull's eye, telling the archer how far he was off the mark, helpful information enabling him to make a correction, to correct his error, so that he can be on the mark with his next shot.

Sin and evil took on quite different meanings over time, while the original meaning is simply helpful information that enables me to make a slight correction from seeing with the body's eyes to seeing with vision.

Sin is a block, set like a heavy gate, locked and without a key, across the road to peace. No one who looks on it without the help of reason would try to pass it. The body's eyes behold it as solid granite, so thick it would be madness to attempt to pass it. Yet reason sees through it easily, because it is an error. (T-22.III.2-5) Everything the body's eyes can see is a mistake, an error in perception, a distorted fragment of the whole without the meaning that the whole would give. And yet mistakes, regardless of their form, can be corrected. Sin is but error in a special form the ego venerates. It would preserve all errors and make them sins. (T-22.III.4:3-6)

And here is the function of the Holy Spirit, the great Corrector.

My present happiness is all I see.

Unless I look upon what is not there,
my present happiness is all I see.
Eyes that begin to open see at last.
And I would have Christ's vision come to me
this very day. What I perceive without
God's Own Correction for the sight I made
is frightening and painful to behold.
Yet I would not allow my mind to be
deceived by the belief the dream I made
is real an instant longer. This the day
I seek my present happiness, and look
on nothing else except the thing I seek.

With this resolve I come to You, and ask
Your strength to hold me up today, while I
but seek to do Your Will. You cannot fail
to hear me, Father. What I ask have You
already given me. And I am sure
that I will see my happiness today.
W-p11.290

This makes it pretty simple because I have already been given what I ask for.

Finally, to keep it real holy, holding a grievance against a brother is like focusing on the spot of bird shit on the windshield, rather than taking in the magnificent view.

Deciding to be Totally Objective is a Subjective Decision

Soon after the disciples had participated in the feeding of the multitude by setting the seven loaves before them and feeding the four thousand, they were in a boat with Jesus, and yet they were concerned, realizing that they had forgotten the bread, and reasoning among themselves. Jesus, fully aware of their doubts, said to them:

Why do you reason because you have no bread?
Do you not perceive nor understand?
Is your heart still hardened?

Having eyes, do you not see?
And having ears, do you not hear?
And do you not remember?
Mark: 8:17,18

Jesus had taught them to see with vision, rather than with human eyes, yet He knew full well that now they were not being mindful of the things of God because they were still caught up in seeing with the eyes of man and hearing with human ears, experiencing what they wished to see and hear.

The purpose of all seeing is to show
you what you wish to see. All hearing but
brings to your mind the sounds it wants to hear.
W-p1.161.2:4,5

For a moment they had forgotten that they were the holy Sons of God.

In the 2000 years since, unfortunately, not much has changed in the way we see and the way we believe. We are still reasoning and murmuring among ourselves, seeing with the eyes of man, rather than seeing with the eyes of Christ. That is why Jesus begins the Lessons of His Course in Miracles as He does.

Lesson 1: Nothing I see means anything.

Jesus knows that our mind-training must begin by learning to question what we consider an absolutely true proposition:

Seeing is believing.

What we see, and by extension, hear, touch, smell and taste, we believe to be real, and yet this seeing is illusory, false.

Yet eyes accustomed to illusions must
be shown that what they look upon is false.
W-p1.137.4:5

These eyes are insane.

As you look with open eyes upon your world, it must occur to you that you have withdrawn into insanity. You see what is not there, and you hear what makes no sound. And the vision of Christ is not in your sight, for you look upon yourself alone. T-13.V.6:1-1,2

The purpose of the mind-training is to shift from believing in appearances to seeing with Christ vision, looking through appearances, experiencing knowledge. Jesus assures us that He went through the same experience, saying early in His Course:

I was a man who remembered spirit and its knowledge. I demonstrated both the powerlessness of the body and the power of the mind. By uniting my will with that of my Creator, I naturally remembered spirit and its real purpose. I cannot unite your will with God’s for you, but I can erase all misperceptions from your mind if you will bring it under my guidance. Only your misperceptions stand in your way. T-3.lV.7:3-8

As I undergo this mind-training moment-to-moment, I am being asked to be vigilant, keenly watchful of how I see things, exactly how I make up my illusory world, exactly how I misperceive.

I came across a poem the other day that helps me in my vigilance. Here is A Study of Two Pears by Wallace Stevens (1879-1955 ).


l

Opusculum paedagogum.
The pears are not viols,
Nudes or bottles.
They resemble nothing else.

II

They are yellow forms
Composed of curves
Bulging toward the base.
They are touched red.

III

They are not flat surfaces
Having curved outlines.
They are round
Tapering toward the top.

IV

In the way they are modelled
There are bits of blue.
A hard dry leaf hangs From the stem.

V

The yellow glistens.
It glistens with various yellows,
Citrons, oranges and greens
Flowering over the skin.

VI

The shadows of the pears
Are blobs on the green cloth.
The pears are not seen
As the observer wills.

In his poem, Stevens is taking a stand, declaring that we must be absolutely objective in how we look at things, appearances. He ironically labels his call for objectivity opusculum paedogogum, a Latin phrase meaning “ minor lesson.” He is deliberately being ironic because in his mind, being objective is a major lesson in seeing.

In stanza l, he makes his point by catching us in our automatic associating, immediately bringing to mind images of comparison, viols, nudes, or bottles.

In the next four stanzas, the pears are carefully discerned, objectively, simply in terms of form and color.

And in stanza Vl, he summarizes his “objective” seeing in this manner:

The pears are not seen
As the observer wills.

Now, what Stevens does not see, but what we do, is that this last line is truly ironic. In spite of his determination to be objective, it is impossible. All seeing is subjective.

That is why deciding to be totally objective is a subjective decision.

Here is the first meaning of subjective in the dictionary: "belonging to the thinking subject, rather than to the object of thought."

The root meaning of subjective, objective, object is the Latin ject, meaning “to throw.” In each case, we are throwing out into the world what is first in our minds. This happens so rapidly that we think that what is “out there” is separate from what is “in here,” when, in fact, it is a duplication, and we are instantly, constantly being duped by this action of mind.

Projection is perception. The world you see is what you gave it, nothing more than that. But though it is no more than that, it is not less. Therefore, to you it is important. It is the witness to your state of mind, the outside picture of an inward condition. As a man thinketh, so does he perceive. T-21.Intro.1:1-7

The root meaning of perceive comes from percipere, meaning "to take, to lay hold of, to receive." We rapidly catch what we forgot that we threw out in the first place. This rapidity makes our part in seeing unconscious, invisible. Making our illusory world is like playing catch with ourselves: we throw the ball in the air and then we catch it; we project an image and then we receive it.

I am grateful to Stevens because he is so determined to show us that we can have nothing to do with what we see, when, in fact, we can see that we have absolutely everything to do with what we see, always seeing our own projections.

The pears are not seen
As the observer wills.

In the end, with our eyes, and our human mind, we can see ONLY As the observer wills.

Therefore, seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world. Perception is a result and not a cause. Everything looked upon with vision is healed and holy. Nothing perceived without it means anything. And where there is no meaning, there is chaos.
T-21.Intro.1:7-12

In sharp contrast to Stevens’ quest for objectivity is Walt Whitman’s deliberate attempt to express himself subjectively. The great American poet (1819-1892) begins his masterpiece, Leaves of Grass, with this line:

I CELEBRATE myself,
And what I assume you shall assume.

This makes it clear that Whitman intentionally filters his poetry through his own experience and expresses these associations. A good example is his poem, When lilacs last in the dooryard bloomed, his moving attempt to come to terms with his grief for the assassination in April of 1865 of his beloved Abraham Lincoln Here is the first stanza.

WHEN lilacs last in the door-yard bloom’d,
And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d—and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.
O ever-returning spring! trinity sure to me you bring;
Lilac blooming perennial, and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.

It is clear that for the rest of his life, particularly in the spring, Whitman will associate the lilacs and the western star with mournful thoughts of Lincoln. His subjective expression drives a powerful poem.

This dichotomy between objective and subjective poetry is obviously false. You have no choice but to express yourself, in effect, to CELEBRATE yourself, and there is nothing objective about this.

Lesson 2: I have given everything I see all the meaning it has for me.

Now we come to the reason for taking you through this false, objective/subjective dichotomy. It provides a sharp contrast for understanding what it means to go beyond having eyes but not seeing, and having ears but not hearing.

Here is a poem by William Carlos Williams (1883-1963 ) that helps make this transition; it helps take us beyond.

A Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain water

beside the white
chickens.

At first glance, this may appear to be an attempt at objectivity in the spirit of Stevens, just images, no commentary, no interpretation. The word depends, however, carries another connotation, as in, “My life depends on it.” Williams is saying that my life depends on seeing things exactly as they are. This echoes Lesson 268, Let all things be exactly as they are.

Let not our sight be blasphemous today,
Nor let our ears attend to lying tongues.
Only reality is free of pain.
Only reality is free of loss.
And it is only this we seek today.
W-p11.268.2:1-5

I came across The Red Wheelbarrow in an anthology, and the anthologist, Douglas Hunt, intuited this larger meaning, the search for reality.

At the bottom of Stevens’ poetry there is wonder and delight, the child’s or animal’s or savage’s joy in his own existence, and thankfulness for it. He is the poet of well-being. His sigh of awe, of wondering pleasure, is underneath all these poems that show us the “celestial possible,” everything that has not yet been transformed into the infernal impossibilities of our everyday earthly seeing. He sits surrounded by all the good things of this earth, with rosy cheeks and fresh clear blue eyes, eyes not going out to you but shining in their places, like fixed stars. (Douglas Hunt, The Riverside Anthology of Literature, (Houghton Mifflin, Boston, 1988), p. 938)

In this passage, Hunt reminds us that far beyond our dualistic ideas about seeing either objectively, or subjectively, i.e., the infernal impossibilities of our everyday earthly seeing, is the glorious celestial possibility of seeing with vision.

Today I see the world in the celestial gentleness with which creation shines. W-p11.265.1:4

The smallest leaf becomes as thing of wonder, and a blade of grass a sign of God's perfection. T-17.ll.6;3

Right now, today, we can see the shining of creation by shifting our awareness from our fearful, sightless eyes to the eyes of Christ, and then:

What is reflected there is in God’s Mind.
The images I see reflect my thoughts.
Yet is my mind at one with God’s. And so
I can perceive creation’s gentleness.

In quiet would I look upon the world,
which but reflects Your Thoughts and mine as well.
Let me remember that they are the same,
and I will see creations’ gentleness.
W-p11.265.1:7-10,2:1,2


So much, indeed, depends on this shift from my seeing to Thy Seeing, from mine to Thine.

So much depends—peace and happiness and love—on seeing a red wheelbarrow with vision.

Jesus said to His disciples, And do you not remember?

Do not seek vision through your eyes, for you made your way of seeing that you might see in darkness, and in this you are deceived. Beyond this darkness, and yet still within you, is the vision of Christ, Who looks on all in light.
T-13.v.9:1,2


Christ's is the vision I will use today.

Each day, each hour, every instant, I
am choosing what I want to look upon,
the sounds I want to hear, the witnesses
to what I want to be the truth for me.
Today I choose to look upon what Christ
would have me see, to listen to God's Voice,
and seek the witnesses to what is true
in God's creation. In Christ's sight, the world
and God's creation meet, and as they come
together all perception disappears.
His kindly sight redeems the world from death,
for nothing that He looks on but must live,
remembering the Father and the Son;
Creator and creation unified.

Father, Christ's vision is the way to You.
What He beholds invites Your
memory to be restored to me. And this I choose,
to be what I would look upon today.
W-p11.271

Learning to see with Christ vision is a restoration process, and now I want to be about it, looking up from this page, now, and seeing through appearances to the bright reflection of God’s creation.

Guy on a Cross

Recently, my friend, Diane Poe, asked me to read a draft of Guy on a Cross. I found reading it to be powerful and riveting, and its impact lingered in my mind for some time after wards. Now I want to share it with you.

* * *

Guy on a Cross
　
I

We hear a hammer hitting wood. Guy is hanging on a cross, his friends just finishing up the job. They pick up their tools, getting ready to leave.

Friend 1: You OK up there, Guy? You need anything. Water?

Guy: No. I’m fine. Thanks. This is great, guys, I owe you. See you later.

Friend 2: Right, then. Well, we’re off. Hey you guys, want to get a beer, or something?

All: Yeah, great, let’s go.

Guy: So long, guys. Thanks again!

They go. One friend hangs back.

Pete: Say, Guy, can I ask you a question?

Guy: Sure, Pete. What’s up?

Pete: I’m sorry, Guy. I know you’ve explained it already; but I still don’t get it. Could you go over it one more time? For the dummies?

Guy: OK, here goes. The abridged version: I’m a sinner, right? I’m scum. I’m no good. Trash. Jesus was perfect, the Holy Son of God. He died for me. The only way I can show my love and appreciation for Him is to go through the same thing He did. I want to be perfect like He was, so I have to do what he did. Punishing myself is the only way I can get rid of my guilt. Expiate. Justify. There. Have I made myself clear?

Pete: Well, that’s the same thing you’ve been saying for the past few days. I understand the words, but I still don’t get it.

Guy: You will one day.

Pete: I guess. How long are you gonna be up there?

Guy: I don’t know. I’ll know when the time is right, though.
　
Silence.

Pete turns to leave. Another friend enters.

Friend 3: I forgot my hammer. There it is. Hey, Pete. You coming with us?

Pete: Hey, can I ask you a question? Come over here.

They move to where Guy can’t hear them.

Pete: Do you get this? I mean, we didn’t actually nail him there, did we? We were just pretending, weren’t we?

Friend: Sure. You know Guy. He loves his drama. He’s fine. He’ll hang up there until he decided it’s time to get off. It’s up to him. I, for one, don’t want to stand here and watch him. Let’s go.

They leave.

Guy wriggles around a bit to get comfortable. Finds a position that is what he thinks is more comfortable. Looks up.
Guy: Wow. This isn’t too bad. Why didn’t I think of this before? It’s almost morning. It’s going to be a beautiful day. This is great.

2

Sun coming up. A cap is on the ground below him. Guy has dozed off. His body slumped down, head to one side. He wakes up.

Guy: Wow. Must have dozed off. Hmm. Sun’s coming up. This is going to be great…..

There it is! Oh man this is unbelievable. …

Wow is it bright. (squints) Right in my eyes. (Tries to avoid the sun). Guess I should have thought this out a bit more. Maybe faced south east .. Oh, man. Should have asked for a cap or something.

Looks down. Sees the cap.

Guy: Hmmm. How did that get there??

A lot of good that does me, down there on the ground. (pause)

Looks like it’s going to be a hot one. Bet I get a hell of a burn. Just my luck. Those stupid guys should have put me under a tree where at least I could get a little shade.

((looks around)

There’s a tree right over there! Why can’t I be over there? Hey! There’s another guy under that tree. Damn it! Some guys have all the luck. What’s that? Why is there a chair under his cross? Does he get to sit in that chair? Why does HE get to sit in a chair??? Damn it! (listens) And he has music!? DAMN IT!”

3

It’s hot, and Guy is sweating and has a sunburn.

Guy: Oh, God, is it hot! (he squirms a bit) Ouch! Man! I look like a lobster! I can’t get comfortable with this sunburn.

(looks around)

Hey, Mr. Cross under a Tree is gone! That’s not fair! He could have at least left me his chair.

God, is it hot! A breeze would be nice. (a breeze kicks up. He lifts his head to catch it, then flinches) Damn! That wind is blowing sand in my eyes. It’s stinging my sunburn! DAMN! (turns head to avoid the breeze. It stops)

Now I’ve got sand in my eyes. Thanks a lot!! And in my mouth! I NEED A DRINK OF WATER!!!!!

The sky darkens, and it begins to rain. It’s gentle, almost caressing him, washing away the sand. He enjoys it. He opens his mouth, gets a mouthful and spits it out to rid it of the sand. Then he takes a long drink. He makes happy sounds.

Hey, that was great. This isn’t so bad after all.

4

Mid afternoon. A chair and small table are at the foot of the cross. There is food and drink on the table. The cap hangs on the chair. Guy wakes up from his nap.

Huh?? Oh. Must have been dreaming. (yawns) Afternoon nap (a little laugh) I guess it wasn’t too bad considering I’m hanging on a cross in the middle of the desert with no food or water in sight. Hey, what’s that down there? Did someone….? (looks around) Is that for me? (looks at it suspiciously) Looks OK. I AM hungry. Haven’t had a drink all day. Well, except for the rain, if you can count that. It was more of a storm, if you ask me, and it left me cold and wet, and now my muscles are cramping!

JESUS!! I hate this!!! I never get anything I want! All I ask for is a little food, a drink of water…..hmmm.(looks down at the table, considers getting down, but a stubborn look comes over his face. Looks away)

I wonder what time it is.











5

Evening.

Guy: It’s almost dark. At least with the sun down it won’t be so hot. And it might rain again. I could use another drink.

I thought the guys might come by. Get some pictures at least. Guess they’re too busy having a good time. All they seem to think about is doing what makes them happy. What a bunch of losers. At least I’m doing something with my life. (straightens himself on the cross, sighs)

I wonder where that other Guy went. He just upped and left. How’d he do that? What do you do? Just get tired of hanging on this stupid cross and get off? I mean, he’s nailed there just like I am, isn’t he?

(looks at his hands. He‘s holding on to the cross) Where’d the nails go? I told those guys to NAIL ME TO THIS CROSS, DAMN IT!! CAN’T ANYBODY DO ANYTHING RIGHT AROUND HERE??? I could have fallen off!!

(He sneezes, and moves his hand to rub his nose. He looks at his hand now in front of his face, surprised. He looks at his other hand, still holding onto the cross, and slowly moves it. He looks at both hands. Then, wondering, he looks down at his feet. He’s standing on a platform. He picks up one foot, looks at it, and puts it down. Repeats with the other. He looks around to see if anyone is watching. He looks at the table to see if the food is still there. It is. Cautiously he climbs down. He picks up the water and takes a long drink. He notices a blanket on the chair and wraps it around himself. Then he sits down at the table. He pulls the food toward him and picks up a piece of bread. He tears it apart. He stops. Looks back at the cross. He’s not sure what to do. He looks at the bread. Looks around him.)

Guy: (quietly) Thank you. .

Begins to eat.
　
6

Guy is on the cross, humming a little tune. Is wearing his hat. The blanket is draped over the cross piece. The table and chair is set up below him, food and drink on a clean white tablecloth. A shade tree is nearby.
Guy’s friends walk by, laughing and talking. They call and wave to him as they pass. One stops to talk.

Friend 4: Hey, Guy. We’re going to a movie. Want to come along? It’s a good one. Got two thumbs way up.

Guy: No thanks, guys. I’m going to be up here for another couple of hours.

Friend 5: You sure? You’ve been on that cross a lot lately. What’s going on, anyway?

Guy: Oh, nothing, really. It’s just something I have to do. Guilt, you know. Shame.

Friend 6: Oh, sure. I get it. (doesn’t) Well, hang in there. I mean, good luck!

Guy: Thanks.

Beat

Same guys come by from the other direction, laughing and talking about the movie. They stop to talk to Guy.

Friend 7: Hey, Guy, you missed a really great movie. It was right up your alley.

They all have comments about the movie.

Friend 8: We’re going to get a drink, Guy. Want to come along? You don’t have to stay there, do you?

Guy: Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. I need to stay here for a bit longer. You all go ahead. Have a good time.

Friend 9: Hey, Guy. I feel bad that you’re up there on that cross while we’re down here going to movies, laughing and having a good time. You sure you’re ok?
　
Guy: I’m fine. Don’t worry. This is something I have to do.

Friend 10: You mean, like, you think God told you to do this?

Guy: (as the others stop their conversation and listen) Yeah. Yeah. That’s it. God told me to do this.

Friend 10: OK, Guy. Well, we’ll see you later.

Guy: Later.

7

Guy is sitting at the foot of his cross, having a snack, maybe listening to an iPod. Suddenly he looks off as though he hears someone coming. He quickly hides his food and drink, puts away the iPod and gets back on the cross.

8

Guy is on the cross. He is watching his friends playing cards below. They are comfortable with him and no longer think him out of the ordinary. They occasionally ask him if he wants to sit in on the next hand. Or they ask him if he wants a drink. He almost agrees, but then refuses.

Guy: No, I’d better not.

9

Guy is on the cross. A group comes in from off right, excitedly talking.

Guy: Hey, what’s going on?

Voice: It’s Jesus! He’s coming!. Guy straightens up, getting ready for an audience with Jesus. He looks off left, expectantly.
Jesus comes in, talking to the crowd. Guy tries to catch his eye. He writhes and moans. Jesus is busy with the others. Finally Guy gets off his cross, picks it up and joins the crowd behind Jesus, still trying to get his attention. Unsuccessful, he tries to make his way in front of Jesus. Finally he throws himself and his cross on the ground in front of Jesus.

Jesus: (looking at Guy) Hey, Guy, you ought to let go of that thing.

Guy: What?

Jesus: You ought to let go of that thing!

Guy: What?

Jesus: (louder) YOU OUGHT TO LET GO OF THAT THING!

Guy: What? (It’s not that he doesn’t hear. The entire idea is incomprehensible to him. He really has no idea what Jesus is saying.)

Jesus: “LET GO OF IT!!”
Guy, still not understanding, picks up his cross and takes it back to its place. He gets back on it. Jesus and the crowd leave.

10

Guy is on the cross, feeling lonely. A group comes in, arguing about something. They decide to ask Guy for advice. He gives them an answer and they leave happily. Guy straightens up a bit and is proud of what he has done. More guys come in to ask questions. Soon they are sitting at his feet, listening, asking questions. They think he is very wise. They praise him. Some bring gifts to put at his feet.
　



11

Guy is talking to the crowd from his cross. A small group comes in and criticizes him, asking what he thinks he’s doing. Why is he on that cross? What is his teaching? Why aren’t these people working? Guy has no answer. “His” group defend him at first, then become confused and begin listening to the newcomers. As the newcomers leave, Guy’s crowd follows, listening intently. One comes back to pick up his offering and takes it with him. Guy is dumbfounded.
　


12

Guy is on his cross. Jesus comes in and looks at him. Guy looks at Jesus.

Guy: What?

Jesus laughs softly.

Guy: WHAT?

Jesus: That’s really not what I had in mind, you know.

Guy: What?
　

13

Guy is on the cross. Jesus stands far to the right, looking at him. Guy looks at Jesus. Jesus holds out his hand, inviting Guy to join him. Guy hesitates, shrinking back, clutching at the cross. Jesus smiles at him. Guy gets off the cross slowly and takes a few steps as Jesus watches. Guy slowly gets closer, reluctantly; he stops, looking back at the cross. He’s undecided. He looks longingly at his cross, then at Jesus. This goes on for a few moments, with Guy becoming increasingly upset. Slowly he first leans toward the cross, then takes a small step toward it. Still looking at Jesus, then, he backs up to the cross, feeling for it as he gets closer. He touches it, wraps his arms around it, clings to it, increasingly more and more upset. Weeping openly now, he totally embraces the cross, looking at Jesus, who is still smiling at him.









The Last Scene
　
A bunch of guys are sitting or lying around a low fire. It’s just coals, really, and it’s cold. They are quietly talking and laughing. Maybe they’re camping.

One bends over the fire to blow on it, hoping to stir up a flame. He puts in a few sticks.

Friend 1: Hey, the fire’s almost gone out. We need more wood. It’s going to get cold tonight.

Friend 2: We’ve already used all we brought with us, and we’ve already searched for more on the ground.

Friend 3: Any ideas, anybody?

Guy: (He‘s been sitting among the others and we don‘t realize who he is until he stands up)
Anybody got an axe?
Guy walks over to his cross, which is leaning against their equipment, and drags it out.

Guy: Somebody help me with this.

One hands Guy the axe while others help him take it apart and throw it into the fire.
We hear the sound of an axe hitting the wood, and see the fire grow larger as the others crowd around it appreciatively.

One starts to laugh, quietly. Others join in; the laughter grows. Finally everyone is laughing with joy. It grows quiet, then one cackles, and it starts again.

Curtain

The Decision-Maker Decides to Shift from Allying with the False Self to Uniting with the True Self

As I sit here in my house looking out of the window on this fine morning in early Spring, drinking coffee and reading A Course in Miracles, Lesson 95, I am one Self, united with my Creator, it is clear to me that what I am looking at in the world, the bird feeders, the lawn, the squirrels, the trees, are being brought to my awareness by my familiar narrator. His voice is natural, normal, and ordinary, naming things and giving them my personal associations, e.g., “That damn squirrel is in my bird feeder again;” “That Blue Jay is beautiful.” At any moment, what I am experiencing is a result of this personal narration. In fact, this is pretty much how the word “experience” is defined: A particular instance of "personally" encountering, or undergoing, something.

(I invite you, Dear Reader, to listen a moment to your narrative voice to become personally aware of its commentary on what you are reading right now.)

Look at the word, personally. It comes from the Latin per, meaning “through,” and son, meaning “sound.” The ancient Greek dramas took place in coliseums, and the actors wore wooden mask through which their voices were amplified, so that they could be heard. Our personal narrator projects our personality into what it sees.

What I took for granted to be real a moment ago, looking out the window, was simply a series of images seen through my false self, my personality, a mask I wear over my True Self. Of course, I realize now that, ironically, I looked up from the Course and immediately forgot what Jesus is constantly teaching us—what I am seeing is a world of my own making, and I need to train my mind to recognize what I am making. My forgetting of His lessons shows me just how difficult it is to train my mind to see in a different way.

Yesterday, I read an article in the newspaper about Eckhart Tolle. When he experienced in his mind at the age of 29 that there were two of him, a false self and a True Self, it was an awakening experience.

Born Ulrich Tolle in a small town in Germany, he spent his teen years with his father in Spain, then moved on to prepare for an academic career. By the time he was 29 and studying philosophy in London, he says, he was so miserable "I couldn't live with myself any longer." Suddenly he realized, "If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the 'I' and the 'self' that 'I' cannot live with. Maybe, I thought, only one of them is real." As he tells the story in his first book, The Power of Now, he was so stunned by the idea that "my mind stopped. I was conscious, but there were no more thoughts." ("Now is the time for Tolle," USA Today, April 15, 2010, Section D, p. 1,2)

This demonstrates to us what we are up against. It is so difficult to break out of our habitual pattern of taking for granted that what we see is real. But when we do, it is an awakening. Our familiar narrative voice has been telling us these stories since we acquired language in our infancy.

Children are born into the world through pain and in pain. Their growth is attended by suffering, and they learn of sorrow and separation and death. Their minds seem to be trapped in their brain. T-13.Intro.2:5-7

This world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son. And until you realize that God's Son cannot be crucified, this is the world you will see. T-13.Intro.4:1,2

Of course, Jesus is well aware of our tendency to crucify ourselves, and He frequently reminds us that this is simply a mistake, not a sin, and to get on with learning to forgive.

When you fail to comply with the requirements of this course, you have merely made a mistake. This calls for correction, and for nothing else. To allow a mistake to continue is to make additional mistakes, based on the first and reinforcing it. It is this process that must be laid aside, for it is but another way in which you would defend illusions against the truth. W-p1.95.7

One of the things I do to meet the requirements of the Course is to remind myself to be vigilant about the exact reference to each pronoun. For example, look again at the pronouns in the first sentence of the above passage.

When you fail to comply with the requirements of this course, you have merely made a mistake.

In this sentence, both "you's" refer to our consciousness, our awareness, our mind that is the decision-maker. I am using the notation of regular font, you, to help me remember the referent, the decision-maker.

However, you, the decision-maker, are often tempted to fall into the trap of making an alliance with the false self. An italicized, smaller font, you represents this alliance.

The self you made is not the Son of God. Therefore, this self does not exist at all. And anything it seems to do and think means nothing. It is neither bad nor good. It is unreal, and nothing more than that. It does not battle with the Son of God. It does not hurt him, nor attack his peace. It has not changed creation, nor reduced eternal sinlessness to sin, and love to hate. What power can this self you made possess, when it would contradict the Will of God? W-p1.93.5


What we want is for the decision-maker to dissociate from the false self and unite with the True Self, indicated by bold you.

You are one Self, in perfect harmony with all there is, and all that there will be. You are one Self, the holy Son of God, united with your brothers in that Self; united with your Father in His Will. Feel this one Self in you, and let It shine away all your illusions and your doubts. This is your Self, the Son of God Himself, sinless as Its Creator, with His strength within you and His Love forever yours. You are one Self, and it is given you to feel this Self within you, and to cast all your illusions out of the one Mind that is this Self, the holy truth in you. W-p1.95.13

This bold you blends in with, unites with, everything around it.

In summary, I want to be vigilant to pronoun references:

you
decision-maker

you
True Self

you
the false self

You, the mind, the consciousness, the decision-maker. Spirit makes use of mind as means to find its Self expression. W-p1.96.4:1

You, an alliance with the false self. Yet mind can also see itself divorced from spirit, and perceive itself within a body it confuses with itself. W-p1.96.4:4

You, united with the True Self. And the mind which serves the spirit is at peace and filled with joy. Its power comes from spirit, and it is fulfilling happily its function here. W-p1.96.4:2,3

Jesus gave us His Workbook, knowing full well the training necessary for us to learn to shift our alliance with our false self to unity with our True Self. Already in Lesson 3, we can see the referents shift for the pronoun “I.”

Here is Lesson 3, These thoughts do not mean anything,
in its Review form. W-p1.51.4(4)

The thoughts of which i am aware do not mean anything because i am trying to think without God.

Once again, the notation, i, (lower case, italicized) is an attempt to convey that the conscious mind, the decision-maker, is totally allied with the false self, the wavy italics, wavering, uncertain.

What I call "my" thoughts are not my real thoughts.

In this state of mind, the decision-maker, I, in regular font, stands in the dim recognition that somewhere beyond its current awareness are real thoughts, blocked by the unreal thoughts it experiences in its unholy alliance. For Tolle, this was a profound recognition.

My real thoughts are the thoughts I think with God.

The decision-maker, I, bold, unites with real thoughts, God, its True Self. This sentence is an assertion of truth.

I am not aware of them because i have made my thoughts to take their place.

The decision-maker, I, recognizes its alliance with its illusory thoughts, i, thereby blocking its awareness of God's thoughts.

I am willing to recognize that my thoughts do not mean anything, and to let them go.

This is a very bold willingness that will lead to forgiveness of the false self and a healing union with the True Self.

I choose to have them be replaced by what they were intended to replace.

Here we are, only in Lesson 3, and we are learning that I have choice; the familiar, natural, normal, ordinary is not so. There is, indeed, something else that can dawn on my awareness, and for Tolle the awareness of Now.

My thoughts are meaningless, but all creation lies in the thoughts I think with God.

This I is, indeed bold, in its union with God.

This shift from alliance with the false self, sin, or separation, to union is acquired by forgiveness.

Forgiveness is acquired. It is not
inherent in a mind, which cannot sin.
As sin was an idea you taught yourself,
forgiveness must be learned by you as well,
but from a Teacher other than yourself,
Who represents the other Self in you.
Through Him you learn how to forgive the self
you think you made, and let it disappear.
Thus you return your mind as one to Him
who is your Self, and who can never sin.
W-p1.121.6

* * *

Again, I, the decision-maker, am sitting on the couch, looking out the window, seeing the bird feeders, the lawn. . . Stop! I close your eyes. Breathe in and breathe out. Help. I want to unite with God, remembering that I have choice, that I am responsible.

I am responsible for what I, or i, see.

I choose the feelings I,or i, experience, and I decide upon the goal I, or i, would achieve.

And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked. T-21.II.2:3-5

Now, I breathe in, breathe out, and open my eyes; I see a reflection mirroring my peaceful mind, actually it’s not so much seeing as feeling. . .

Your foot has reached the lawns that welcome you
to Heaven’s gate; the quiet place of peace. W-p1. 194.1:3

Now.

Welcome Home!

Happy Easter! Everything is all right.

Everything is all right.

There is nothing to worry about.

That’s because there is only Everything.

Nothing was made by me to defend against Everything.

Everything is real, Light, Truth, Love.

Nothing is unreal, darkness, illusion, fear.

Experiencing Everything, or nothing, is simply a reflection of my state of mind.

What I see can only mirror my state of mind.

Seeing through my limited eyes, I see nothing, darkness.

Seeing through Christ eyes, I see Everything, light.

When I find myself seeing through Christ eyes, I am grateful, and I say, “Thank You.”

When I am seeing through my limited eyes, I am troubled, and I say, “Help.”

The miracle is a shift in perception from seeing with my eyes to seeing with the eyes of Christ.

While seeing with my eyes, I am crucifying myself.

While seeing with the eyes of Christ, I am resurrected.

Now, Everything mirrors my resurrected Christ Mind.

Everything is all right.

Connecting Alice's Experiences in Wonderland in Tim Burton's Movie with the Problem-Solving Power of Sleeping Dreams

The other night, my wife, Christine, and I went to see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Walking out of the theater, I found myself thinking of one scene, in particular. At the end, soon after Alice emerges from the rabbit hole, she walks into the ongoing Garden Party. Because of her adventures down the rabbit hole, she is now certain and decisive and confident, addressing each person, one by one, resolutely solving the problem that had been left irresolute. This is quite a contrast to her state of mind at the beginning when she was uncertain and indecisive and passive. Her new-found confidence is demonstrated in the following scenes, contrasting her behavior before and after her descent into Wonderland.

Before.

HAMISH. Alice Kingsley, will you be my wife? The question hangs in the air. The musicians' bows are poised. The party has fallen silent. It seems the whole world is listening. Unsure of herself, unsure of her future, unsure of anything in that moment, Alice stammers.

ALICE. I. . .I. . .would have to say. . .everyone thinks I should. . .and there's no reason not to. . .so I suppose my answer would have to be. . .I would have to say. . . She trails off as she sees the White Rabbit leaning against a pillar, glaring at her with undisguised impatience.

After.

Alice turns to Hamish, her adventure, although unremembered, has given Alice unwavering confidence and self-awareness.

ALICE. I'm sorry Hamish, I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me.

Before.

Alice continues to look for the elusive rabbit. She hears rustling ahead and peeks around a tree. . surprising a man and a woman kissing. The woman gasps and runs off. The man turns. It's Margaret's husband, Lowell.

ALICE. Lowell?

LOWELL. Alice. We were. . .Katrina is an old friend.

ALICE. (upset) I can see you're very close. He's caught and he knows it. So he goes on the offensive.

LOWELL. You won't tell your sister about this, will you?

ALICE. I don't know. I need time to think.

LOWELL. Think of Margaret. This would be devastating to her.

ALICE. I know!

LOWELL. Marriage is based on trust. She would never trust me again. You don't want to ruin your sister's marriage, do you?

ALICE. But I'm not the one. . .

LOWELL. She must never know about this.

After.

ALICE. (to her sister) You shouldn't act so smug, Margaret. Your life may not be as perfect as you think it is. She whispers the truth about her husband in Margaret's ear. Margaret gasps and glares at the suddenly sheepish Lowell.

Before.

IMOGENE. Alice? What's this I hear that you don't want to marry Hamish?

ALICE. I didn't say that. I'm not certain. .
.
IMOGENE. Marry him, Alice. If you don't, you'll lay awake at night in your cold, cold bed, growing older and older waiting for the perfect man.

After.

ALICE. (gently to Aunt Imogene) There is no prince, Aunt Imogene. You need to talk to someone about these delusions.

Before.

Strolling with Alice in the garden, Lady Ascot sees something off.

LADY ASCOT. Incompetence The gardeners planted white roses when I specifically asked for red.

ALICE. I like white roses.

LADY ASCOT. You couldn't possibly. They're too bland.

After.

ALICE. (to Lady Ascot) I happen to love white roses, Lady Ascot, as well as rabbits.

Before.

MARGARET. Such an embarrassment. And now that Father is gone, you can't depend on Mother to support you. You don't want to be a burden, do you?
She's succeeded in making Alice feel not only insecure but guilty as well.

After.

ALICE. (turning to her mother) Don't worry, Mother. I won't be a burden. I'll find something useful to do with my life.

Finally.

ALICE (looks around) Is that everyone?

LORD ASCOT. You've left me out.

ALICE. No, I haven't. You and I have business to discuss. sir. They're all surprised to hear the word coming out of a young woman's mouth.

When we arrived home that evening after the movie, I was still musing about the connection between Alice's dreams in Wonderland, and her new state of mind that enabled her to solve the problems in her life. We decided to watch a television program, and "by chance" we watched a NOVA program entitled, "What are dreams?"

It just so happens that the theme of the program is that sleeping dreams prepare us for solving problems in our waking life, or rather, as Teachers of A Course in Miracles, we refer to it as a waking dream. There's not really any difference between sleeping dreams and waking dreams.

During the program, I was struck by one of the commentators in particular, Dr. Deidre Barrett, a professor at Harvard Medical School, who has studied extensively the connection between dreams and problem-solving. She demonstrated this connection by citing examples of musicians and writers and scientists who solved problems in their dreams that they were unable to solve during the day. For example, Stravinsky dreamed essential elements of Rite of Spring; Robert Lewis Stevenson dreamed two key scenes of his novel, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde; Mendeleev described dreaming the periodic table of the elements in its completed form.

In fact, Barrett did a scientific study entitled, "The 'Committee of Sleep': A Study of Dream Incubation for Problem Solving." The title comes from a statement by John Steinbeck, " It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it."

This is how the study was set up:

Seventy-six college students (47 women, 29 men, ages 19-24) were asked to incubate their dreams. They were instructed to select a problem of personal relevance. They were asked to write out the problem in a simple fashion. Subjects followed this procedure nightly for one week. Two raters then judged all dreams in the week's journals. (Journal of the Association of the Study of Dreams, 1993, The "Committee of Sleep": A Study of Dreams Incubation for Problem Solving, pp. 115-123, p. 1)

Here is one example of a problem and its solution:

Problem: I have applied to two clinical psychology programs and two in industrial psychology because I just can't decide which field I want to go into. Dream: A map of the United States. I am in a plane flying over this map. The pilot says we are having engine trouble and need to land and we look for a safe place on the map indicated by a light. I ask about Massachusetts which we seem to be over right then and he says all of Massachusetts is very dangerous. The lights seem to be further west. Solution: I wake up and realize that my two clinical schools are both in Massachusetts where I have spent my whole life and where my parents live. Both industrial programs are far away, Texas and California. That was because originally I was looking to stay close to home and there were no good industrial programs nearby. I realize that there is a lot wrong with staying at home and that, funny as it sounds, getting away is probably more important than which kind of program I go to. (Committee, p. 4)

Here is another:

Problem: I'm trying to decide whether to be on the softball team again this spring. I love it, but practice does take time away from my studies. I could just go to watch the games this year and still see my friends from the team. Dream: I'm camping in an open place in a tent that doesn't come all the way to the ground. People are all around staring at me. I feel very uncomfortable and exposed: Solution: The dream reminded me of the phrase "a watcher rather than a doer" which has very negative connotations for me. I don't think I'd be happy with just going to the games. (Committee, p. 5)

Here is a summary of her study:

Subjects incubated dreams addressing problems chosen by the dreamer nightly for one week. Approximately half recalled a dream which they judged to be related to their problem; a majority of these believed their dream contained a solution. Problems of a personal nature were much more likely to be viewed as solved than ones of an academic or general objective nature. (Committee, p. 2)

(I recently experienced a problem-solving dream, and I invite you to read my account in my blog post immediately preceding this one, entitled, "Learning to Move Mountains by Saying to Myself, "Yes, and.")


Alice's experience in Wonderland and the study subjects' problem-solving dreams provide powerful analogies. Alice emerges from the rabbit hole confident, and the subjects solve problems in their sleeping dreams. Nevertheless, in both cases they are still left in the waking dream, i.e., Alice returns to the ongoing Garden Party, and the subjects return to their daily lives.

As Teachers of A Course in Miracles, we know that we are walking around in a waking dream of our own making. It's just a matter of remembering to ask for help to forgive the thought-images that make up the waking dream. These two sentences towards the end of the study lead me to think that, at some level, Dr. Deirde Barrett, is also aware that something else is going on.

Perhaps the "committee of sleep" may have workers outside of the dream state. This experiment occurred at a religious college and several of the responses indicated a firm conviction that the dreams came from God. (Committee, p. 7)

There is no perhaps about it. As Teachers of God we know that there is a worker outside of the dream state. Here is the analogy: Just as Alice's experiences in Wonderland prepare her to emerge from the rabbit hole with certainty and decisiveness and confidence, so can my waking dreams be used to enable me to be more certain that I am the Holy Son of God. That is why we often use the phrase, "Utilize, don't analyze."

We can learn to give our waking dreams over to the worker, the Holy Spirit, who translates our illusory dreams into truth. We can ask, we must ask, the Holy Spirit to be the mediator.

The Holy Spirit mediates between
illusions and the truth. Since He must bridge
the gap between reality and dreams,
perception leads to knowledge through the grace
that God has given Him, to be His gift to
everyone who turns to Him for truth.
Across the bridge that He provides are dreams
all carried to the truth, to be dispelled
before the light of knowledge. There are sights
and sounds forever laid aside. And where
they were perceived before, forgiveness has
made possible perception's tranquil end.
(W-p11.7. What is the Holy Spirit? 1)

If Alice were to become a Teacher of God, she would find that she may still find herself in the duality, i.e., asking herself whether to marry Hamish, or not; to stand up to her mother, or not; to tell her sister the truth, or not. However, she would learn that choosing this dream over that dream will not lead to truth. But asking the Holy Spirit for help to forgive these dreams, recognizing their unreality, can lead to the truth that she is a Holy Son of God, and that she is in the world, but not of the world, thereby learning to "Wear the world like a loose garment." (St, Francis)


The goal the Holy Spirit's teaching sets
is just this end of dreams. For sights and sounds
must be translated from the witnesses
of fear to those of love. And when this is
entirely accomplished, learning has
achieved the only goal it has in truth.
For learning, as the Holy Spirit guides
it to the outcome He perceives for it,
becomes the means to go beyond itself,
to be replaced by the eternal truth.
(7:2)

What is helpful for her, and for us, is that the phantasmagorical figures that appear in Wonderland, like the Mad Hatter, the Red Queen, and the White Queen, are, in fact, only slightly more exaggerated and distorted than the thought-images that we seem to see in our waking dreams, or what we consider the "outside" world.


"Phantasmagoria" is defined as: a shifting series of phantasms, illusions, or deceptive appearances, as in a dream or as crated by the imagination. It is a great reminder that Alice's dreams in Wonderland and those that we seem to see in our waking dream are really not different at all. For example, you could take your thought-image of your "worst" enemy and give him red, curly hair, a lot of eye make-up, and a hat, and he becomes only a slight exaggeration of your own image that you are projecting onto him. This is how we people our world.

In this manner, Alice could come to know the truth that what appears to be without comes entirely from what is within.

Your picture of the world can only mirror what is within. The source of neither light nor darkness can be found without. Grievances darken your mind, and you look out on a darkened world. Forgiveness lifts the darkness, reasserts your will, and lets you look upon a world of light. We have repeatedly emphasized that the barrier of grievances is easily passed, and cannot stand between you and your salvation. The reason is very simple. Do you really want to be in hell? Do you really want to weep and suffer and die? (W-p11.73.5)

Alice can learn moment to moment, that she can look outside, and if she is feeling pain, she can look inside and ask for help to forgive painful thoughts. Instead of saying "Nonsense" to the Queen, she can say "Nonsense" to her own grievances, her own thought-images, recognizing the illusory nature of what she pictured before. And when she experiences a moment of light, of clarity, she will see that light reflected in her world.

If you but knew how much your Father yearns
to have you recognize your sinlessness,
you would not let His Voice appeal in vain,
nor turn away from His replacement for
the fearful images and dreams you made.
The Holy Spirit understands the means
you made, by which you would attain what is
forever unattainable. And if
you offer them to Him, He will employ
the means you made for exile to restore
your mind to where it truly is at home.
(7:3)

So it all comes down to forgiveness, forgiving thoughts in your mind that have no source in reality, leading to knowing exactly who you are.

From knowledge, where He has been placed by God,
the Holy Spirit calls to you, to let
forgiveness rest upon your dreams, and be
restored to sanity and peace of mind.
Without forgiveness will your dreams remain
to terrify you. And the memory
of all your Father's Love will not return
to signify the end of dreams has come.
(7:4)

Accept your Father's gift. It is a Call
from Love to Love, that It be but Itself.
The Holy Spirit is His gift, by which
the quietness of Heaven is restored
to God's beloved Son.

For Alice, now, there is no way that she could possibly refuse to take on her function, and I can just hear her emphatic answer to this question that ends the passage:

Would you refuse to take the function of completing God, when all He wills is that you be complete? (7:5)

ALICE. "Nonsense!"